‘Annoyed’ mum wants teen daughter to use birthday money to replace ‘expensive’ shampoo

A mum was “really annoyed” after her teenage daughter used her “expensive” shampoo – and now she wants her to use her birthday money to replace it.

Hair care ranges in price, with some cheap and cheerful, while more specialised and luxurious products carry a hefty price tag. One mum, with “really damaged” hair, splashed out on some “expensive shampoo and conditioner” in a bid to rescue her locks.

She told her 15-year-old daughter not to use it and explained she’d bought it to try and help her hair, and that it was too expensive to share. The mum was angry after having only used it once, she went into the bathroom and discovered her shampoo and conditioner “lying down with the lids off and it literally going down the drain”.

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Taking to Mumsnet’s popular Am I Being Unreasonable [AIBU] thread, the mum explained the situation and continued: “I feel really annoyed! It’s not just the fact she has used it without asking but to not have enough respect to even look after it! Half the bottle’s gone now. She recently had her birthday and has money. Am I unreasonable to say she needs to replace them with her money?”

The mum’s post was met with heaps of responses from fellow Mumsnet users, keen to share their thoughts. One said: “No. What’s wrong with a good old fashioned b*****king topped off with a ‘I’m not angry just very disappointed’ cherry on top? We were all dumb teenagers once!”

Another said: “I’d do a b*****king with how very disappointing I found it after I asked her not to use it.” A third commented: “No I’d be telling her she needs to replace it [definitely]”.

Another Mumsnet user said: “She will only learn if her actions inconvenience her so yes I would make her pay for a replacement, or stop pocket money until the debt was paid.”

In a series of follow up comments, the mum added: “She’s just turned 15, it feels like I say things like this daily. She’s constantly doing things I have to correct her about. I understand she’s learning but she just leaves a trail of destruction. It’s like she doesn’t care because she knows I will pick it up.

“Literally £40 down the drain. I don’t understand how she doesn’t get it. She’s reckless with phones, laptops, her room. And every time I’ve replaced and fixed this for her.”

Parenting dilemmas

One Mumsnet user said: “Yes, I’d be expecting some kind of contrition and a contribution to replacements. I remember being 15 – a b*****king from my parents would have made zero impact, and I was generally a good kid. Losing some of my birthday money however, would’ve been an actual consequence that would have given me pause for thought next time I was being careless with my mum’s stuff.”

But one disagreed and said: “I think it’s mean to make her use her birthday money in any case. If you want to make a point, can you get her to earn the cash back instead?” Another echoed such sentiments and said: “You’re not being unreasonable but [I’d] probably take it from pocket money not birthday month. I would make her clean the bathroom daily to earn the pocket money then so she remembers what she did while she cleans up.”

And another Mumsnet user added: “No she definitely needs to feel the loss. Ridiculous. She just thinks she can get away with whatever she wants. There needs to be a consequence.”

At the time of writing, 90% of Mumsnet users voted the mum was not being unreasonable by asking her daughter to replace the shampoo and conditioner with her birthday money.

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