40 funniest lies parents use to wind up their children

People are forever fibbing to their children and a new study has revealed the 40 funniest lies told by parents.

Whether you’re trying to get your kids to do something, or just winding them up, it can be all too tempting to tell them a few porkies before they’re old enough to realise the truth.

Of course there’s the classics – telling them their eyes will go square if they watch too much TV, and eating carrots will make them see in the dark.

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Then, there’s the ones used to improve behaviour – ‘smoke alarms are Father Christmas’s spy cameras’.

While some are clearly just for the fun of it, like ‘Chocolate milk comes from brown cows’.

The research by children’s snacking brand Kiddylicious, found that 94 percent of the 2,000 parents polled said they’d told white lies, which their little ones believed to be true. The average mum and dad admitted to telling five porkie pies a week.

According to the data, the main reason parents fibbed was to encourage their children to do something that was good for them (66 percent), while 41 percent said it was to encourage good behaviour.

While 40 percent of parents said they tell fibs to make life a bit more fun, 31 percent to avoid tantrums and arguments, and a nostalgic 21 percent use the same fibs they were told as children.

What’s the funniest parenting fib you’ve told? Tell us in the comments section

Yona Ellis of Kiddylicious: “Our research reveals the white lies and tall tales that parents tell their little ones daily to avoid tantrums, encourage them to do things, and inject a little more fun into family life. Mealtimes can sometimes be a battleground, with a range of fibs told to encourage kids to have a nutritious diet and eat up all their veggies. Our new pre-schooler range means there’s now one less tall tale needed at snack time.”

Here are the top 40 funniest fibs parents tell their children

  1. Eating carrots help you see in the dark – 39%
  2. We’re almost there (when asked ‘are we nearly there yet’ on a road trip) – 36%
  3. If you watch TV for too long, your eyes will go square – 31%
  4. If you’ve been naughty, Father Christmas will fill your stocking with coal – 31%
  5. If you tell a lie, your nose will grow longer – 29%
  6. I go to bed straight after you do – 29%
  7. We’ve run out of biscuits – 28%
  8. I can’t find my mobile phone so you can’t play with it – 23%
  9. Broccoli are baby trees – 23%
  10. If the wind changes while you are pulling a funny face, it’ll stay that way – 21%
  11. The ice cream van plays music when it runs out of ice cream – 18%
  12. If you eat the crusts of your toast, your hair will grow curly – 18%
  13. If you do a wee in a swimming pool, the water will turn bright green – 17%
  14. If you cross your eyes they’ll stay that way – 16%
  15. Eating spinach will turn you into a superhero – 15%
  16. The car won’t drive if all the seatbelts aren’t buckled up – 15%
  17. A swallowed apple pip will mean an apple tree grows in your stomach – 14%
  18. Smoke alarms are Father Christmas’s spy cameras – 14%
  19. The tooth fairy is only strong enough to carry 50p to put under your pillow – 14%
  20. If you don’t clean behind your ears, potatoes will grow there – 13%
  21. Swearing is illegal – 13%
  22. They don’t sell replacement batteries for that (noisy) toy – 12%
  23. The police can see everything you search on Google – 12%
  24. If you eat chocolates from your advent calendar before the right day, Christmas will be cancelled – 11%
  25. If you eat chocolate before bed, you’ll get nightmares – 11%
  26. I’m eating salad (when you’re actually chewing a sweet or chocolate) -11%
  27. Strawberries and raspberries are nature’s sweets – 11%
  28. The television stops working after 7pm – 10%
  29. If you say ‘I don’t believe in fairies’, a fairy will die – 10%
  30. The fish is sleeping (when the fish has died) – 10%
  31. The internet gets turned off at 7pm every night – 10%
  32. If you pick your nose, your eyes will fall out – 9%
  33. If you keep your eyes open when you sneeze, your eyeballs will fall out – 8%
  34. The cat went to live on a farm with other cats (when the cat has died) – 8%
  35. If you stick your tongue out, it will fall off – 8%
  36. If you tell a lie, a red spot will appear on your forehead – 8%
  37. You have to whisper in a library so you don’t wake the books up – 8%
  38. If you play too many computer games, the characters will get tired – 8%
  39. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows – 6%
  40. Hummus is unicorn food – 4%

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